This resource could be helpful to share with schools, after-school programs, and extended family members. It's helpful for me as a parent.
For years, it seemed as if Attachment Therapies had a propensity to focus on bonding. I remember reading books where the suggestions were to carry our child, hold our child, rock our child, and spoon feed him. While those suggestions could be helpful if a child is ready to accept them from his caregiver, they can only cause setbacks if the nurture is being offered outside of the child's Window of Tolerance. Providing "nurture" outside of a child's Window of Tolerance causes the child to experience distress.
When my children first came home, I realized, for them, structure was nurture- the only nurture they could handle from me at the moment. In the beginning, the only way I could reduce my children's anxiety so we could begin a relationship was to provide structure for them so they could begin to feel safe.
I wish I had known about the Window of Tolerance before our children came home and I hope this resource is as helpful for you and for your community as it is for our family.
You can follow this link to a podcast hosted by my friend Melissa. During our conversation we discuss our experiences learning about Regulation and Tolerance.
You can learn more about our journey toward Regulation here.
