One major mistake I made when my two sons came home as older children, was treating them the same as I treated my biological child. Since all my children were similar in age, I expected they would have similar interests and we would connect in ways I already knew how to connect, because, I was already a mom. Most even considered me to be a “good mom.” [At least that’s what most said to my face.]
Prior to our two sons coming home, this “good mom” spent hours reading to her child, and, for the rest of the day, this mom and her child hung out and enjoyed each other. Trips to the library, playground, or even a friend’s house required very little (if any) planning.
By week two of mothering three children, I was at a complete loss. Our house was littered with toy fragments. I had hidden our precious library books to preserve them from utter destruction. When we did go to the playground, at least one of my children would climb up to a high place and refuse to leave. No other outings seemed reasonable. Soon, no outings seemed reasonable.
I began to resent my children. In my mind they weren’t playing their parts. I was a “good mom,” so, I began to believe our family’s chaotic state was the fault of my two children. [Tweet This]
Never in my life have I ever been more wrong.
So true! Even with biological children, giving children the freedom we think we wanted at their age can easily make them feel unwanted. It's a true blessing when it finally comes together.
ReplyDeleteIt is true this whole experience has helped me better know and read all of my children. Usually their unsettling behaviors are related to me giving them more than they can handle.
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